


In and Out

by Tuni



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 13:44:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17285171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuni/pseuds/Tuni
Summary: Moonbyul and Solar trying to navigate through their “some” relationship as time goes. Dramatic and angsty





	1. Sweet dreams

Byul's POV

Today I couldn’t take my eyes off my best friend.

We had the day off, so naturally we decided to spend it together. It’s been this way for a while now, whenever we’re not working together we’re hanging out together, whenever we’re not hanging out together probably spending some time with our respective families, we’re most likely texting each other every few minutes. It’s a pretty odd sensation, as if we were consumed by this kind of addiction, except that we were addicted to each other and we were blissfully living our addiction to the fullest.

Whether we were laughing or fighting or not even interacting with each other, simply existing in the same space, we were happy about it.

I had an idea what this truly meant, after all I had my fair share of crushes on girls over the years and I even had a real girlfriend during my high school times. However, this was different, it felt so much more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced before and yet so fragile, as if it could come crumbling down any second or like a sweet dream you don’t want to wake up from, but you know you risk to open your eyes any moment.

I wondered if she knew too or if she truly was as clueless as she appeared to be. She didn’t mind laying down on the bed talking for hours or simply enjoying each other’s company in silence. Does she think it’s perfectly normal for friends to spend hours staring into each other’s eyes without a word? Can’t she hear how loudly my heart beats when she takes my hand in hers, softly playing with my fingers? Does she not catch my eyes drifting from hers to her lips way more often than I care to admit? Doesn’t she even realize that sometimes the look in her own eyes watching my every move is one of pure lust?

I wonder if the moment she finally realizes is the one we both wake up from the dream and yet I’m so tempted to make it happen.

Today I cooked dinner for her as the snow was falling down outside my apartment window. I have to admit I’m not a very good cook, but I really wanted to try my best preparing something for her myself instead of just ordering out. She seemed to genuinely appreciate the gesture and I could see she felt truly content, by the look in her eyes. She never really needed to express things in words, I could tell just from looking into her eyes. Just like I knew she could also read me like an open book by looking into mine, and yet how can she still be so clueless?

After dinner and a romantic movie that she chose for us, this really ended up feeling like a date. I had an idea, so I quickly took her hand and asked her to leave the apartment with me. I took her up to the roof to watch the view of the city as it was getting drowned in white by the falling snow. She cuddled against me warming herself in my body heat. I hugged her back and we both felt at ease as a serene atmosphere settled in.

The spell was suddenly broken though when I started feeling agitation taking over her thoughts. I wondered what provoked this change in her mood, what did she suddenly remember. I wanted to ask but I was cut short when she suddenly pulled away from me stating that it was getting late and hurriedly leaving, almost running down the stairs. I was dumbfounded for a few seconds, it was so abrupt, and I didn’t want that moment to come to an end so fast. I refused to let it come to an end, so I run after her.

I finally caught up with her near the building door “Hey!” I yelled but when she turned around I had no idea what to tell her. All I knew is that I didn’t want this moment to end. All I knew is that I wanted more, so I just took a step forward, causing my nose to brush against hers. Her breath seemed to catch in her mouth, but I just did it, I pressed my lips against hers and it felt so sweet and so right like a puzzle piece that’s been missing forever and was finally found. It seemed like she was too caught up in the moment to think of anything and instinctively kissed me back while clinching her hand into the front of my shirt. Reassured by feeling her kissing me back, I lift my right hand to her neck and deepened the kiss by sliding my tongue into her mouth. A small moan escaped her mouth at the first contact between our tongues and it felt like honey to my ears. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even realize my phone started buzzing in my pocket, neither of us did until Yongsun pressed her body closer against mine and was suddenly startled by the new buzzing sensation. She quickly jerked away from me, eyes wide open in shock and her right hand found it’s place on her mouth as if she didn’t believe what that mouth has just done, or that it’s done it on its own.

We were both finally wide awake from our dream. And I still had no idea what to say. When Yongsun eventually got her senses back, her first instinct was to go back to her previous activity, running away not even closing the door behind her.

It finally hit me as I watched her leave. She was never clueless or oblivious, she was in denial all along.


	2. Distant memories

Yongsun's POV

 

I was sixteen years old when I first fell in love with someone for the first time. She was a classmate of mine and one of the very few friends I ever had. People often thought of me as weird, so they didn’t approach me much and it didn’t help that I was a very shy kid. I didn’t mind though, I didn’t mind being thought of as weird and I didn’t mind not having too many friends. I had a simple easy life enjoying my own free time, doing well at school and never getting into any sort of problem with anyone. My only concern was my parent’s opposition to the pursuit of my one big dream, that of becoming a singer. But that still didn’t bother me much cause I knew, I had this deep conviction that one day that dream would come true, one way or another I will end up making it happen.

All of this came to an end though, when I started realizing that I had feelings for a friend, a female friend at that. I always knew, or more like was taught that being gay was a terrible thing, that a person who liked the same gender was sick and disgusting and that it was something to mock and look down upon. Being hit with the thought that I might be one of these people was shocking to me so I refused it and fought against it with all my will. There’s no way I’m like that I thought to myself it must be just admiration what the hell are you thinking Yongsun? You really are a weirdo.

 

I remember that one school day when spring was just greeting us, and the weather started to feel warm and soft against my skin. I was wearing my cute little new bracelet for the first time. The truth is I had bought it almost two weeks ago, but I never wore it until today. The truth is, I kept going back to that store every day after school contemplating whether I should also buy one for my…special friend, that way we would have matching bracelets. After two weeks of contemplating that thought I had decided against it after all, maybe it’s going to be seen as weird I had thought.

As I was admiring the sight of my bracelet on my wrist I heard a thud and burst of laugher. I turned around to see a glimpse of the smart serious kid in class being cornered against a wall at the back of the classroom by some other boys. It’s the one who always sits by his own reading books or scrabbling words on his notebook. He didn’t have many friends, but he was well respected within the class for being so smart, always having the right answers and getting the best grades. He didn’t look like he was in need of many friends either as everyone was under the impression he perceived himself to be better and above us for being so smart and talented. But sadly for him, today was the day everyone else was looking down on him, laughing at him, calling him names…I didn’t understand what was happening exactly or why was everyone suddenly being so mean to him after he was so well respected, admired and even envied upon the class. And then one of the boys woke me from my trance by laughing obnoxiously loud in my face

-Jesus Yongsun you should see your face!

-….euuuh sorry I’m just confused

-You have no idea what’s going on do you?

-Yeah I wasn’t really paying attention

-Well guess what? Someone in class found a note book that someone had left in their drawer, so they opened the note book to figure out who it belongs to and it turns out it was Taeyang’s and it was full of poems about some other guy and how handsome and loooovely he is. He said in an extremely mocking way before bursting into laugher.

-And so the person who found the journal is the one who told you about this?

-No she showed it to everyone. Seriously where the hell do you live Yongsun everyone knows and saw

-Say who was it that found the journal? I ask completely horrified. How can someone do such a thing? How can you expose a person like that?

And then he said it.

Her name.

I felt so relieved that I didn’t get her the bracelet after all. But why am I feeling this hurt? Why do I feel like crying all of a sudden…?


End file.
